Vent/rant about yumeshipping

Feel free to comment if you can relate to this, if anything it's nice to know if I'm not alone in this. Also I'm not trying to cause issues for venting about these things, I've just been feeling a bit frustrated and sad. I will probably delete this later anyway.

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To be honest, yumeshipping doesn't entirely make me happy but at the same time it's a hard thing for me to give up on. It makes me happy in a way of I have characters that I love and I can imagine cute scenarios with them if I wanted. But it makes me unhappy with the fact I've been made fun of in the past for my f/os and I still carry those memories and that there's people in the community who are very unhealthy with yumeshipping and will harass others over doubles and etc.

I really don't understand the concept of attacking others over a shared f/o. I don't see why we can't just leave each other alone and get on with our lives. I haven't had a double harass me before but I've seen it happen to multiple people and it's disgusting the way people go about it and the stuff they come out with. If a double upsets you that much please just block and move on. You do not need to send hate.

Plus I have felt left out many times over the years from tumblr to here over the fact I don't have f/os that are 'conventionally attractive' anime characters or whatever. Before anyone says, I'm very well aware there's many others here with f/os who aren't those things. I'm just saying, from my own personal experience, that I feel like I tend to go unnoticed because my f/os probably aren't 'that nice to look at' or whatever or they're from a 'stupid' show or something. Idk I do sometimes wish I had f/os from more popular media so others would care more but I don't. And I feel like my content isn't that great because of that and other reasons.

I've never felt like I've really fit in in any yumeship/selfship community. I did have some nice people appreciate my ships when I used to use tumblr but I also got made fun of by a few people, two of them being an ex online friend of mine. They had sent my art to a discord server at the time and they all supposedly made fun of what I made and my f/os in general. I hadn't witnessed any of this but I was informed by a mutual of mine at the time and it was devastating to me. I still carry those memories and get nervous posting about my yumeships for multiple reasons.

I don't understand why if someone has an 'unconventional' f/o you can't just move on and leave them be? I don't get making fun of them and posting about it? It just seems unnecessary and it doesn't help anyone, it just makes others feel worse and self-conscious about something they should enjoy doing and yumeshipping is something that should be harmless, not cause distress.

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I am aware by the way that I have received nice comments on here before. I do struggle with my mental health and I do tend to overthink every time I post so that doesn't help. But I do appreciate the people that have been nice to me and my yumeships.

Thank you to the yumeshippers who do have respect for others and are civil about doubles and etc. You are admirable.

I might take a break from posting about my yumeships I don't know. If I could I'd take a break from the actual subreddit but I do enjoy seeing others yumeships and some of the questions you guys post. I admire your creativity.