Convict Colosseum Women's Edition: Fighter Profiles (wave one)

In an alternate universe where Lillary Billton defeated Frump in the Presidential election, she sought to do the next big thing after her husband hosted the most successful Convict Colosseum in history. Naturally, the first female US President should host the first all-female Colosseum, shouldn't she?

• Crybaby:

• Age: 39

• Ethnicity: Anglo-Saxon

• Origin: California, United States

• Former Occupation: Nanny

• Crime: Child Abduction

• Type: Freak

• History: The woman who came to be known as Crybaby always suffered from some undiagnosed mental illness; though most people were unaware and merely assumed she was merely immature for her age. Despite this, she had a successful career as a nanny, her primary client being a very wealthy couple who often had to leave their son behind while they went on business trips. She developed a very close bond with the boy, and when the couple's plane crashed resulting in them being missing, presumed dead, she stepped up into the role of being the boy's primary caretaker, "just until the situation is sorted out" in her words. In truth, when it was revealed that the boy's parents had survived the plane crash, she took the child away with her, lying to him and saying their bodies were found and that he couldn't live with any of his relatives because they were scheming for his inheritance. She was ultimately found and arrested, the boy's father using all of his wealth and connections to ensure she got the maximum possible sentence, disgusted with himself that he would trust her with his own flesh and blood. The stress from being in prison resulted in a rapid decline of her already shaky mental health, causing her to revert to an even more childish state and spend most of her time sobbing. This lead to her being heavily bullied by most of the other inmates, which only ended when she had a sudden fit of psychotic rage and killed two of them with her bare hands. After that, she was transferred to solitary and became the most feared inmate in the prison.

• Fighting Style: Crybaby has no real fighting skill; her success in battle mainly comes from taking enemies off guard by whimpering and cowering before suddenly attacking, in addition to being a lot stronger than her physical appearance suggests. Her selection for the Colosseum was mainly due to her being seen as an disturbing spectacle more than anything else.

• Performance: Crybaby was matched up against the Sea Hag. Her crying routine failed to work on such an experienced opponent, who knew better that to be taken by surprise. With the Sea Hag's vastly superior physical strength and technique, she was easily defeated.

• After the Colosseum: Crybaby didn't really make any friends during the Colosseum; her behaviour was seen as annoying at best, incredibly disturbing at worst. In fact, she was repeatedly sedated in the infirmary just to keep her quiet. Although murdering two other inmates had destroyed any possibility of her being released, she was eventually reassigned to a mental asylum, where she could get the help she drastically needed.

• Skeptical Sue:

• Age: 33

• Ethnicity: French

• Origin: Washington, United States

• Former Occupation: Lawyer

• Crime: Contempt of Court

• Type: Masterful

• History: Skeptical Sue was a renowned lawyer who strove to fight against injustice. This naturally lead to her gaining many enemies, which her martial arts training was able to successfully defend her from. However, her ultimate undoing would not be any of the thugs who threatened her. She was prosecuting a class action lawsuit against a major corporation, responsible for harming dozens of its consumers through criminal negligence, only for the case to suddenly be dismissed. Realizing the corporation had bribed the Judge, she could not control her rage and attacked him in the middle of the courtroom, even knocking the bailiff unconscious when he tried to interfere. Mortified by what she had done, she voluntarily turned herself in immediately afterwards.

• Fighting Style: Skeptical Sue is a skilled practitioner of Savate, though personally she considers her greatest ability her eye for detail. She prides herself on her ability to spot hidden weapons and see through her opponents' feints. Even after being defeated in the first round, her observational skills made her an invaluable commentator.

• Performance: Skeptical Sue was matched up against Hangwoman, but refused to fight her, correctly surmising that her sash was going to be used as a weapon and convincing the referee to remove it. This was for naught, though, as Hangwoman merely took off her own shirt and used it as an improvised garrot to throttle her unconscious.

• After the Colosseum: Skeptical Sue became close friends with La Hermosa, discovering that the legal system had also failed to bring her justice. When she discovered Hangwoman was also failed in a similar way, her prior contempt for her also turned to friendship. Although she was released soon after her arrest due to her good behaviour in prison, she quickly disappeared, never to be seen again. But legends claim that the vigilante gunslinger known as La Hermosa returned, only with two other beautiful women fighting beside her.

• The West African Valkyrie:

• Age: 30

• Ethnicity: Kpelle

• Origin: A country that no longer exists

• Former Occupation: Presidential Bodyguard

• Crime: Treason

• Type: Powerhouse

• History: There was a President in a certain west African country that had a bodyguard entirely consisting of women. Although the main reason for this was just so he could surround himself with beautiful women, one of those female bodyguards very much earned her keep. She was responsible for foiling over a dozen assassination attempts on the President by herself, and became a national hero known as the Valkyrie. But eventually, a minister of the President's cabinet was able to convince her the reason he was a target for so many assassination attempts was that the people hated him for how he destroyed his country with his tyranny, and that if he died, peace and prosperity would come. After snapping the neck of the man she pledged loyalty to, the Valkyrie was quickly thrown into prison. The minister who persuaded her into treason was now the new President, and he had every intention of having her quietly executed before the former President's remaining loyalists realized their connection. However, the new President's CIA allies, who had supported him in his stealthy coup, had a request of him. They were looking for powerful female fighters, and would appreciate it if he handed her over to them...

• Fighting Style: The West African Valkyrie was proficient in several military martial arts, but her primary specialization was the grappling techniques of Combat Sambo. This was a regular part of her country's military training, due to the state being aligned with the USSR about two civil wars prior.

• Performance: The West African Valkyrie was matched up against GI Jane, another ex-military fighter, and defeated her in a fairly even and well-matched battle. Afterwards, she was faced up against Red Hand. The Valkyrie sought to counter Red Hand's brutal strikes with her grappling, refusing to give her enough space to wind up her devastating slaps and palm strikes. However, Red Hand demonstrated her terrifying grip strength, ripping large chunks of skin off the Valkyrie's body. Although Valkyrie fought on valiantly despite the pain, she ultimately passed out from blood loss.

• After the Colosseum: Resigning herself to execution in her home country, she was surprised when the CIA offered her a deal; become an agent working for them in sensitive operations in Africa, and she will get to live. She agreed on one condition; she got to bring a partner with her. She chose her rival G.I Jane, knowing she too was facing likely execution for her crimes.

• The Brain Remover:

• Age: 29

• Ethnicity: Anglo-Saxon

• Origin: Texas, United States

• Former Occupation: Quarterback

• Crime: Grievous Bodily Harm

• Type: Powerhouse

• History: Formerly a star women's football player, the Brain Remover got her name for her vicious nature on on the gridiron, notorious for her devastating tackles and rumors of being responsible for multiple CTE cases. Eventually after being kicked out of the league for one too many fouls, she discovered what she missed most about her career was being able to hurt people, and became an enforcer for the mob. In one notable case, she beat a man to the point of amnesia. To try to regain his memory of what happened in the past, he took to the hobby of reading old newspapers. Only when he found the newspaper article detailing her expulsion from the football league was he able to regain his memories of who his assailant was, leading to her arrest.

• Fighting Style: Although she has incorporated football tackles into her arsenal, the Brain Remover's techniques are primarily based on wrestling, mainly in the forms of slamming her opponent's head into the ground or wall, or pinning them so she could punch, elbow or stomp on their heads. Although simplistic, her methods are efficient.

• Performance: The Brain Remover was matched up against Miss Marathon in the first round. Although Miss Marathon tried to use her experience as a runner to keep distance from her, the Brain Remover demonstrated that footballers are built for short bursts of explosive speed, and can easily catch an athlete who is built for long-distance running. Once she caught her, she was easily taken out with a piledriver, although the referee had to pull her off from stomping on her unconscious head. Against the Hangwoman, she was barely able to win, ultimately resorting to the gamble of allowing her to choke her in order to get her close enough to knock her unconscious. Against Starchild, though, she was made to look like an amateur, Starchild easily being able to predict her every move as they were all ultimately a set-up, a set-up to a set-up, or a set-up to a set-up of a set-up for an attack to the head, and was ultimately knocked out by a strong blow to the back of the head.

• After the Colosseum: The Brain Remover, ironically enough, suffered a cerebral haemorrhage from her defeat at Starchild's hands. Terrified of getting further brain damage from future fights, and with a deep awareness of the fact it was probably karma for everything she had done to other people, she abandoned her violent ways, retiring to obscurity after being released from prison.