Advice for Being Terrified of my 8th House Prefection Year (with 8H Aries Saturn, SN, & Moon)?

Anyone get through a complicated 8H Saturn Return in a less than ideal sign? How was being 31 for you?

I’m in the midst of my Saturn Return at the moment; in many ways, this has been the worst time of my life thus far.

I was so excited for my Saturn return before it arrived in full because the introduction then retrograde dip brought me a great opportunity and way more capacity for being truly organized (Virgo Rising loved it), and now I feel stupid and I hate it here.

I recently turned 30; my Saturn degree is very early and now it’s almost out of orb from the transit, but in later degrees of Aries I have my South Node conjunct my Moon to which Transit Saturn is coming into closer conjunction now. I went through so many dramatic life changes this past year; getting over a really bad breakup, losing my apartment due to bad landlords, losing a job I needed for stability due to spoiled nepotistic coworkers, moving back into a home with my parents (dysfunctional paternal relationship ignited), financial issues compounding all of this, and of course who could forget the terrible strides back into mental health issues I’d spent years in therapy attempting to address. And as the chaotic Aries transits move towards my moon, I fear a strain on my relationship with my mum is present now as well (makes me so incredibly sad). There’s more, but I can’t fully get into it.

30 is a 7 Year. I have Juno in 7th and that’s it (have yet to ever meet a good partner or romantic relationship, but trying to learn to value myself more right now, which is maybe more 2H North Node). With this prominent 8H energy sitting with me, I do feel like my relationships are shifting in a lot of ways and I’m learning to be vulnerable in the right spaces, almost out of a need. Seems there’s a big focus on trying to be less dependent on others despite this.

Next year is my 8 Year, but with so much going on right now as well as over the past year, I am genuinely scared for myself. I’m not doing well, any insightful words would be appreciated ❤️