I COULD BE THAT SCHOOL SHOOTER, LET's not pretend that video games did nothing... but.

Long post ahead.

I just want to share my experience as someone who's probably the closest person(actually both of them) to the latest incident, experience-wise and being a gamer, I feel like I have to talk about this.

Warning: might little cheesy and also, trigger warning I guess.

Point 1

My dad taught me how to shoot people at age of 11, at that time I've been also addicted with video games, anime and manga(I was edgy af in short) and video games did induced violence, there's a reason why there's a computer shop culture that some's some of the millennials and my peers profoundly reminisces whenever a topic of kids being weak is being brought, you'll see things like "ay kami suntukan lang after magdota eh, tapos tatrashtalkin namin nanay nya" and all the sort of things, so it isn't "new" that there's violence from video games... the line where we have to draw is where its from, Is it from the game itself?? or the peers around you? as the computer shop culture grows the "trashtalk" culture became a thing, saying it is part of the sport, I did dabble from trashtalk as well as it does make the competition interesting, there's also one instance where people settle disputes by 1 v 1 in dota it happened, there are people getting stabbed, people's lives being ruined because of it, and a lot more, I am not an expert as I am just talking about my experiences.

Point 2

To those people who are saying "kami nga bayolente din laro, wala naman" you have to draw a point of reference to what kind of games they are playing, the social element before in video games usually revolves around your friends and family; playing in living room with back seater conversely, To what video games is now, there are a lot of opinions people are fighting online and there's so much aggression compare to what it used to be just the player vs game, it became community vs community and games, and you are asking kids to play with strangers they've never met before and forcing to them to cooperate.

I think what these people are being desensitized at is bad actions have zero repercussions(in online... mostly), I could talk about your mother inappropriately, or just personally attack you without any punishment in real life. It isn't inherently the "violence" itself but to freely attack people verbally online, just look at these people online threatening to kill content creators over things they did, may it be menial or serious.

So what's the key takeaway? Maybe it isn't the video game space; maybe its the online space we really have to put our attention to.

I am not going to pretend that video games in its core doesn't cause violence, we can't be absolute with these things. The root cause of it all is really the parents, my dad is a military man, violent, abusive and he uses his guns whenever he's drunk he just indiscriminately fire his gun... according to him before was to show dominance so people fear him and in my innocent eyes, he's really just an insecure man wanting to be recognized. That went on for an entire childhood and highschool, he taught me how to use guns and clean it, where to aim, and where immobilize, he taught me gun discipline as well, and I am not going to pretend that it didn't cross my mind to just use his gun to shoot him in the head, I've thought about it almost everyday as he torments me with his violence, but to give him a credit, he never hurt me.

I've been bullied by my classmates everyday from from 1st grade to 12th grade, I've been abused by my aunt and hurting me physically everyday. My mom was emotionally abusive as well, I was never dealt the good cards but I have games to keep me occupied and not end it all.(sorry if I have to trauma dump but I've been evil as well and I've hurt many people growing up, mostly the women I've been with like cheating and all those relationship stuff)

My dad is the sweetest person if he's sober and the most evil if he's intoxicated. even so, I loved him.

It reached to a point that I have to hide his gun whenever he's drunk and we'll end up arguing over it, for an entire night(i was 9th grade). And quite frankly, I've used video games to to escape those bitter moments of my life. I've heard stories from my police uncle, and my dad's experience in military and warfare. But people describe me as sweetest and gentle person they met(i hate how that sounds like Im sucking my own cock here) and always the voice of reason whenever they need an advice.

After college, I left and decided to not talk to him anymore, I don't if it traumatized me but and I'm just sick of it, I definitely experienced desensitization, in college I've struggled to understand the concept of depression, I've invalidated so many classmates of mine and I am borderline apathetic. until I turned 18 or 19, I slowly developed empathy, I've grown compassionate with my peers and people around me, I've learned to love and girlfriends that I had taught me and challenged my existing morals.

I feel like at the end of it all, based on my very personal experience, with what I've been through; this is a difficult subject talk about not because I am sensitive about but I might be the outlier here. I am now 26. I am not going to claim I have healthy emotional and mental maturity but I am better than most as I don't take any prescription meds, my days revolve around games, working out, and reading.

I am sorry, I feel like I need to speak up about this is as I am probably the person with closest experience with the recent incident, I had edgy days and we all do but to hone the discipline to not act upon it something I've learned as I grow.

pto add, I think i've learned philosophy at the age of 10 years old. I've watched and read Philosophy stuff from their, so I sound so pretentious lmao but it definitely helped me with my alignment to virtue.