My monthly meds cost 29k in total without insurance.

Literally what the hell? Not only can I essentially not move to other countries because they wouldn't cover my specialty meds, the country I'm in is charging me an arm and a leg to LIVE!

I'm becoming a nurse because I have been fucked over by to many doctors to not make sure I understand my care. Plus I like helping folks anyway so it works out.

Along with that I need good insurance, LIKE NEED!

This is fucking over my dating life so bad to because I cannot get with someone who is picking a job that won't have good insurance. I'm not planning on getting to sick to work anytime soon but I do know if it happens before I can plan for it financially I don't want to fall back on someone who can't take it.

Can't even be free to love without risking fucking over someone financially. This is such shit, such shit. I'm so mad. I'm so fucking mad.

I just feel like I can't fail because I have other disabled friends who weren't able to get their shit together before their illnesses caught up with them and they literally are at the will of what our current govt decides is necessary for them to live.

I can't anymore, I really can't. Shit is getting to fucking bleak and I can't. I'm 21 fucking years old, the world is supposed to be my goddamned oyster and I'm sitting here on a Saturday night setting up my pill box for the week. Writing up my calendars for appointments and injection dates.

I feel like some fucking old lady and I know it could be worse. I am on my mom's insurance, she has great insurance. She's an ICU nurse. If I was going to be disabled so be it, at least I literally have an ICU nurse on stand-by.

I know it could be worse but, it also could be better.