Hectorrrr

I miss you. You’ve been acting differently. I know you’ll quit soon. I had an argument with my mom. It wasn’t even an argument she’s just not mentally ok anymore. It affects her moods. It’s made me think. No wonder I thought what we had was love. It’s all I’ve known. Both of my parents are overly emotional and they always take it out on me. All I try to do it help and be there for them but it changes nothing. I shrink to be easier to handle but it never works. And it didn’t work with you either. I am so alone and I realize I don’t want you. I want someone to see me the way you did. I want someone to notice me and decide they want me. Because I always feel unwanted, by everyone. It felt like you were the first person to notice me and want me. But you liked the small version of myself that I created to fit you. We would never have worked long term. But I wanted us to. I wanted to see you and be seen by you. Sometimes I still do. I’m trying not to. But it’s hard. I know you well, I know your moods and I usually know what to say to make you feel better. But you’re getting harder to read now. I suppose it’s for the best. I miss our talks.

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