I cheated on my girlfriend, we both miss eachother but she doesnt know what to do.

Ive been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year. We had this little stage where, she would just want to give up on me. She says that she wanted to give up on me becuase, she felt like she was hurting me with all the lies & bs she put me through. So one say after she promised me that she would stop randomly just giving up, she did it again. I lashed out & got mad & started texting another girl. 1-2days later, me and her got back together. But i was already in a hole were i texted a girl. We than started talking again, but I was still texting the girl because I was afraid that she would give up on me again. This is fucked up, & ik thats not an excuse at all. I realized that what I was doing wasnt good, so i stopped. I told the girl to stop talking to me, & i blocked her & moved on. Week $ half later my girlfriend found out. Ever since we been broken up with, but theres time were we would be on call and talk about everything. Sometimes she would ask me to stay on call with her as she fell asleep. But we couldnt keep doing this, becuase we were both very hurt, especially her. Ive had self hatred ever since the day. Some people would say, if you loved her, you wouldn’t have cheated on her. & as yes that is true, i still do & always loved her. Im 16, im young & stupid & no excuses for what I did. I take full accountability. Ive givin her space, & time. Some would say the time i gave her was little. I reached out one day, & checked up on her. She was glad that I did, but i let my emotions in the way, & started rampimg about me & crying to her. It may seem like im tryna guilt trip her but I am not. She got uncomfortable with that & ever since we havent spoken. One thing that stuck with me is that she said, that in those weeks I gave her space. She was starting to forgive me & thought about me. But I ruined it by lashing my feelings out on her. & she doesnt deserve that. Recently ive made & alt accounts on TikTok so i can let some if my feelings out on there. I didnt know it, but she ended up making one as well. She somehow found my account & started liking my post & everything. I confronted her about it when we spoke, & she said sorry she shouldn’t have stalked me. Its obvious that me & her both still have feelings for eachother. I may be delusional, but just recently she made her profile pic to Allie from the notebook. Tell some that may seem little, but oh boy when I tell you, that kinda made me feel better. Ever since the situation ive been improving my life, & changing myself not just for her, but for me too. Ive started praying to god, speaking to him. I read more, & started writing my thought down. Ive cut out a lot of bad habits that caused & let me to cheating like lust. Quit watching porn & satisfying myself with other woman on the internet. Till this day I get a lot of mix signals. Shes leaving to pr on july 4th, & comes back july 18th. I decided that Im gonna text her a few days after she comes back so that she can settle in. It is currently june 29th as I write this. Is what Im doing wrong? Do you think ill have the chance to speak with her? Do I have the chance to getting my baby back? I also wanna say that, if i get the chance to speak with her, i wanna start things slow. I wanna get to know her again, as she gets to know the new me. Side note, the cheating was only through messages, no pictures just flirting. I did it for about a month & half.