Its a poem on my online friend. It's a long read but do give it a try

a poem i wrote about him but will never get the courage to send him

its called

"just friends"

You came into my life when I had convinced myself

I didn't need anyone.

You stayed so quietly

that I never noticed you had already built your pillars

inside my heart.

Wasn't it just you being curious?

Just simple, innocent questions,

and me answering without a second thought.

Somewhere between those ordinary conversations,

you began living softly in my mind.

You made me speak of things I never thought I'd reminisce about,

have opinions on things I never thought I cared for.

Then when did those questions become something more?

When did your words start lingering

long after our conversations ended?

I told myself it was only a phase.

Another feeling that would pass.

But you never held on loudly.

You simply stayed.

Somehow, that was enough.

On the first day, I said I only wanted to be friends.

The truth is , I wasn't looking for anything.

Not even friends.

Yet somewhere in the little things,

without either of us noticing,

you became someone I found myself praying for.

Your daily good morning.

Your quiet good night.

A constant I never noticed I had grown used to.

I smiled because of you.

I laughed because of you.

I cried because of you.

Maybe I started liking you.

Maybe it was attachment.

Or maybe it was just my foolish heart

falling for someone who existed only through words,

so close on my screen,

yet impossibly far away.

Sometimes I wonder if confessing was the right thing.

Then I wonder something even heavier

was staying friends afterward the right choice?

I never asked my heart whether it was ready for that.

Every morning I promise myself to talk a little less.

Every night I realize I've broken that promise again.

I don't know how much longer I can keep calling us just friends

while my heart keeps forgetting that it's supposed to be.

Some days I fall asleep with tears on my pillow.

Some days, one message from you makes me smile for hours.

Some days I felt everything.

Some days, nothing at all.

I thought I had learned my lessons.

Then you happened.

I don't want to call you a mistake.

You never were.

But somehow you resemble one

because without ever intending to,

you tore me apart.

I know your intentions were never wrong.

But intentions don't stop hearts from breaking.

Every time I tried to pull away,

my heart took another step toward you.

How do people silence a heart

when all it wants

is someone it can never have?

Sometimes I regret meeting you.

Then there's that stubborn corner of me

that would choose meeting you all over again

even knowing how this story ends.

One question keeps returning.

Should I finally put a full stop

to everything I feel?

Will that make me happier?

Or is letting go simply the kinder thing to do

for you?

I wish someone could answer that.

Because I don't know how much longer

I can keep carrying these questions.

Strange,

how a heart can become attached

long before two hands have ever met.