What up gamers, my name is Roy and I’m married to (aged up/aged with me) Michael, Eric, and Pete from South Park. I’m no sharing with Michael and Pete but am respectfully and reasonably sharing with Eric because everyone and their grandma on proship sptwt wants to get with him. 

I don’t ship with their child selves, though people still get a little squicked out as to how I fell in love with minor characters to begin with. One, this started when I myself was 13 (is it icky for a 13 year old to crush on 10yo characters? Well, I was 13 in the 2010s so nobody gave a shit and tried to cancel me for it then 🤷‍♂️) and two, South Park characters aren’t explicitly written from a minor lens. Sure, there’s episodes of them playing and having fun, but there’s also episodes of them dealing with adult issues and inexplicably traveling across state lines alone to further the plot. There’s simply episodes where they’re written AS adults, and to say “I fell in love with Michael’s personality” has more to say about the fact that he’s a snarky jerk and less to say about the fact that he acts like he’s 11 (I think the only time he’s ever depicted doing something childish is participating in school functions and affirming he goes to the arcade a lot. The man smokes and drinks coffee.)

Basically? They’re so matuuuuuuuuure for their age ;) /JOKEJOKEJOKE

Michael is my soulmate, but I can’t really see the relationship without the other two. I’m not a yume hoarder or anything, all three have a very special place in my heart and I could go ON about them. 

That’s us! Hiya!

Finally. My people.