Dealing with bipolar 1 and being christian?

Anyone else that struggles with this and is diagnosed? I f19 had my first manic episode last year. It was deeply traumatic. The problem is that I never got any help for it. My psychologist was neglectful and very unprofessional, although they didnt take my to the psych ward which Im kind of grateful for because its very corrupt here and I do think it would've just worsened things.

It was all deeply traumatic for me. Im diagnosed with autism, but that took my parents 2 years to actually listen to me amd take me seriously when I would tell them and beg them to get me tested. Struggled with severe social anxiety through HS aswell.

Now, after some searching, I finally figured out what this episode was. I definitely am bipolar type one. I had my first manic episode last year after a lot of stress and anxiety about my future and what I was studying. Started with mania, me reading a book, then thinking it was my divine duty to write a book, to then believing I was the reincarnation of isis, ariadne, Mary Magdalene, and the Holy Spirit itself and a LOT of other crazy stuff. I also suspect my period had smt to do with it, because about a week before my periods my mood shifts a LOT I get very depressive and feel at edge like Im gonna go insane at any moment but its mostly internal.

I brought up this with my parents yesterday, because "coincidentally", a girl was talking next to me to a man sharing her testimony of what its like being bipolar and autistic, and it was so enotionally impactful for me and inspiring!! She was so positive despite all of it and clearly has been blessed by God and has learned to live with it.

So I tried telling my parents that this is what I went through, and all they said was that "no, Ive seen what bipolar ppl are like what you had was spiritual" ??? (They confuse bpd with bipolar) and my mom "you just need to pray because that was a spiritual thing and you need to stop reading so much information. What are you now gonna have every mental illness?" I immediately left about to cry.

Im still so sad. At the same time I feel like its all my fault, like maybe I just haven't listened to God, but now I dont trust myself in how or when I am really hearing God. I have no support system. Im so alone after all this time and now Im really scared that if I cant even have therapy, I may get another episode and I really dont wan to lose myself and them deal with this again. Its just so confusing bc my pastor didnt help me either, they just prayd over me once and gave me a very superficial speech. I am so, so, so hurt still. And Im still struggling with motivation for things like work and stuff. I started a small hairstyle course of 10 classes I want to quit. I js feel so hurt and so desperate.