how am I supposed to trust anyone externally when people take their support back the moment things are 'weird'

the two people closest to us were talking a big game, talking about 'wanting to support and love all of you' and 'I can't wait to meet everybody' but the moment they meet one (1) alter suddenly 'oh it's actually really hard for me, this is so much'

we have one teenage alter who has been really shy around my partner and when I talked to my partner they were very much 'oh she doesn't need to be shy she should introduce herself' and then when she takes the body for the whole day and tries to hang out, she kept getting blown off. Come to find out my partner 'didnt want to hang out with a child' and was 'frustrated that [they] didn't get to spend time with me (who's in the body most of the time)'.

How the fuck am I supposed to take that? How does that not just fuel my RSD and work against all the internal criticism and control I've been working on? And this is on the back of our best friend saying 'I want to be there for all of you!' one day and then literally the next saying 'Oh except for that one alter that might hold some (justifiable) resentment towards me, they make me feel unsafe to be around you'.

Handy tip for anyone trying to support someone with DID: don't just say some bullshit about supporting someone cos it makes you feel like you're a good person to say it. Actually fucking mean it.