My first baby and first loss.

I’m supposed to be 8 weeks tomorrow. The pregnancy was completely unplanned but my boyfriend and I were really excited to start a family a bit earlier than expected. I began spotting very lightly on the 24th and on the 27th I began bleeding heavily and having intense cramps. I went to bed knowing what was happening but clinging to any hope that it was something else. I woke up the next morning feeling like my body was giving up on me. I had severe flank pain from what felt like a kidney infection. I ended up going to the emergency room and was there nearly all day for them to tell me what I already knew. I’ve genuinely had the worst week of my entire life. From pregnancy hormones, to miscarriage pain and grief, nicotine cravings (I had quit smoking when I found out), a uti, and then on top of that finding out I’m allergic to my antibiotics. I feel like I can’t catch a break. I’m so incredibly overwhelmed and lost that I’m trying to convince myself it’s just a rough period otherwise all I do is lay in bed all day and cry. I put all my tests and paperwork in a memory box I made. I’m still in so much physical pain that I feel like ibuprofen isn’t really working. I just want all this pain to be over. I wish I was never pregnant in the first place so this never happened. But it feels wrong to wish that.