Happiness in this.

About 3 years ago, this guy I’d known of for years and years reached out to me and complimented my pfp. We ended up texting and there was flirting and sexual tension built up. Nothing could really come of it as I was in rehab, and it died out eventually.

The past 6 months there had been sporadic messages here and there on Snap. Checking in on each other, bantering and joking around. I’ve been out of rehab for 2.5 years at this point.

A couple weeks ago I was going through my contacts and deleting people I didn’t talk to. I hit him up on snap and asked if his number was the same. He said yes and asked if I was okay and if my kids were okay and I texted him.

Long story short, after a few hours of spicy conversation, our usual joking bullsh*t and inside jokes, he ended up at my apartment. We hung out for a good bit enjoying each others company. He opened up about a lot personal things and I comforted him. I’ve still yet to divulge a whole lot.

Then it happened. I had taken a vow of celibacy years ago, and it happened and it was the #1 most mind blowing experience. It was tender, it was…heh you know…literally never had anything like it. Afterwards, we listened to music and I turned over and he scooted into me (spooning me more or less). He said “just let me cuddle you,” I did, and he talked my head off and I fell asleep.

I know exactly what’s going on here, and I know the ramifications.

I am happy. I am aware that in due time, it’s very likely to be over if it hasn’t ended on his side already. And I am okay with this. We don’t text nonstop. I helped him grab a pizza not too long ago and that was such an enjoyable 30, 45 minute drive. Touching my arm or my leg every time he was saying something to me. Attention was all on me.

I just wanted to share this. Thaaaaanks lol.