My dads in hospital and I don’t know what to do

my dad is in hospital because he is in agony and Its causing my PTSD to trigger up again

Last year my brother went into hospital and was diagnosed with a chronic illness.it’s bareable but it was very traumatic when it happened since my brother almost died In there (he is okay now btw and dealing rlly well) and it gave me PTSD.

Now my dads in there and I think he will be for a few days and I rlly don’t know what to do because Ive got to go to the hospital to see him and I’m dreading it. I rlly want to see him but not in the hospital

Im just rlly disappointed with myself because I relapsed on Sh after doing so well for weeks and I regret it but I want to do more

I just need to talk to someone please

Thank u so much