AIO? My dad is still in contact with my awful brother.

So a few years ago, I finally started to notice the way my older brother treated me wasn’t normal. I ended up cutting him off. I was ranting about him on the internet and describing just one of many things he’s done to me in the past, and a stranger pointed out to me ‘he straight up strangled you, that is strangulation’.

I need to point out that I was 11/12, and he was 18/19 when that happened.

My parents didn’t do anything about it. They never punished him. Didn’t kick him out, stop funding college, nothing. I fought with them a lot for a while because I was angry that they allowed their son to abuse and manipulate me my entire life, to the point where I never questioned being actually strangled.

I made myself very clear, several that they had to choose either me, or him. If they stayed in contact with him, our relationship would be over. Again, we fought, which I thought was ridiculous because my brother hardly texts or visits unless he needs something, and I literally live with my parents still, and I’ve always been the loving, thoughtful daughter. Meanwhile this asshole stole from our parents, called my mom a stupid bitch to her face, I could go on and on…

Anyway. Seems like a pretty clear choice right? You support the victim, not the abuser.

It’s been about a two years since then. My brother hasn’t been around. He apparently refuses to visit this house while I still live here, and he and his wife are too precious and stuck up to let my parents visit (was an issue with his wife even before the cutting off).

A few days ago I was sitting next to my Dad. I leaned over to help him with something and saw my brothers name pop up with a text about his daughter.

I was livid. I had to excuse myself before I snapped out loud. My mom found me crying later about it and when I told her why I was upset, she started pushing back against me about it.

’You can’t make him choose. You can’t make him abandon his only granddaughter. You’re being shitty trying to give him an ultimatum. You’re no better than him.’

I haven‘t said anything to my dad since with the exception of ‘hi’ and ‘good night’ when he talks directly to me. I just cant look at him. In my head, my dad basically nuked his relationship with me by making this choice. ‘But that’s his son/granddaughter too’— HES NEVER EVEN MET THE BABY. And for gods sake, I’m his daughter, too! Why do I have to be the bigger person when I’m the one who was wronged, repeatedly, over and over?

My dad is still in contact with my abusive, estranged brother. I can’t imagine forgiving him for this one. Am I overreacting?