Ending it

I don’t wanna live anymore. I have made a terrible mistake that I don’t think I will fix. I just turned 18 and my dad gave me some money for an investment account of some sort as a birthday gift. I withdrew the money and starting gambling because I thought it was going to be fun but it wasn’t. I lost all my money and now I’m debt $200 to my dad and some money from some ppl I borrowed from who have threatened me. I’m out the country at the moment and I’m not able to work. I can’t find remote jobs or anything of that sort. I have been told I have a week to pay $200 back but I am not able to do that. This post isn’t me asking for pity or money but it’s js to say that I’m done. I’m a disgrace to my family, to my friends and to everyone. I don’t deserve life. I plan to do it next week unless I find a job or money to pay him back. I am not able to tell my dad what happened as he will not understand, he has a history of violence. I have left a note for my brothers and mother. This may or may not be my last post but thank you Reddit for the amazing time. Goodbye !