post hookup guilt

i (20m) recently have been getting on and off sniffies, messaging here and there to hookup w someone for the first time and im regretting it so bad.

i ended up getting messaged by a much older guy (65 years old) who was married and discreet and i went over and we did some stuff, nothing penetrative.

i finished first and as soon as i did, post nut clarity hit and i was actually so disgusted with myself cause i didnt think id ever be in a situation like this, but i ended up finishing the encounter anyways.

he asked me before i left if id like to do it again, and i lied and said im not from the area and would be gone the soon but im afraid i’ll see him again cause were actually not that far from each other

now thinking about the whole encounter i feel super uneasy and gross. my mouth feels so dirty and i dont know what to do, and i kind of just feel violated even though i know i consented at the time. i just feel super regretful that i even went and i wish i stopped when i had the chance, but its over and just i cant get this feeling away. its feeling like i wont be able to hookup or be intimate with someone for a long time.