i keep being mistaken about my kins.

every time i think i kin a character from a certain media, it always ends up being a different person in that media that's the real me. and the initial thought was just someone i was close to.

danganronpa. i thought i was izuru at first. then junko. nope, nagito.

danganronpa v3, i thought i was kokichi, actually ended up being pregame shuichi (potentially in-game, too? not sure. not the point of this post, though.)

sally face. thought i was sal, actually larry.

amazing digital circus. not jax, but kinger.

omori. thought i was sunny, definitely basil.

ouran. i thought i was nekozawa, actually kyoya.

creepypasta. thought i was toby, i'm actually ben drowned.

ace attorny. i kept thinking i was phoenix and ended up being edgeworth.

don't even get me started on kinsidering nearly every deltarune character until landing on ralsei, berdly, and [chapter 5 spoiler character] >!seth.!<

mysteries of the house. thought i was ellian to the point i got used to that as my actual name. and ended up being achier.

it's happened with nearly every single source. there's fewer that i got right the first time than the amount i struggled for weeks, months, in v3's case even years with. it just makes me really wary about kinsidering anyone. regardless of how strong the pull is, i get the nagging feeling it's going to be wrong. it's instilled a lot of doubt within me, as i feel like the person i think is me will always end up a partner or close friend from source. things always click so much later down the line. i got lucky with >!seth !<[aforementioned deltarune spoiler character], as i do feel rather confident in my identity as them despite them being my most recent kinfirm. but it's just disorienting to have to dekinfirm and reorient my whole view of myself and the characters involved whenever this does happen.

as a psychological(?) fictionkin, a lot of my "memories" are purely emotional. and figuring out where those emotions are coming from in the layout of characters is a strange process that i've never seen anyone else describe in the way i can't.

not intended as a sourcecall, but sourcemates are free to interact here even though it's kind of a /neg post. if you want, of course.