Dating in my early 40s after a long marriage—navigating timelines and finding the right energy. (Looking for advice)

I’m a 41M, recently divorced after being married for 14 years. The marriage ended due to my ex's infidelity, though I tried to stick it out for a few years to keep the family intact for my three young sons (all 10 and under).

​Now that I’m finally ready to start putting myself out there again, I’m feeling a bit lost on where to actually meet someone, especially because my lifestyle is pretty low-key. I only drink a couple of times a year, so the bar/club scene isn't for me. I spend my free time out on the water, exploring the coast, enjoying nature, and doing photography.

​I'm finding myself in a tricky spot regarding pacing, timelines, and just the general energy I'm looking for. Because my divorce is relatively fresh and my boys require a lot of my focus right now, I need to take dating at a slower pace. I am completely open to a "full-cycle" relationship again in the future (marriage, potentially more kids), but realistically, my timeline for that is 3 to 5 years down the road.

​I know the standard advice is "date women your own age," and I understand the logic. But if I'm being completely honest, after a really heavy and exhausting few years, I find myself craving some hopefulness and vibrancy. I'm looking for a partner who still has a sense of unjaded excitement about building a future.

​I sometimes find that optimistic, forward-looking energy more naturally in women in their late 20s or early 30s. It’s less about an age number and more about finding a juxtaposition to the heavy season I just came out of—someone who wants to build a beautiful life and has the bright-eyed enthusiasm to do it, just on a slightly slower 3-to-5-year timeline.

​Conversely, I’ve found that many women in their mid-to-late 30s are "dating with intention" to start a family immediately, which creates a level of pressure I can't fairly meet right now. And women my age often have their own young kids and complex co-parenting schedules, which makes aligning our free time incredibly difficult.

​Ultimately, I’m just looking for a good-hearted woman with strong values who shares my coastal/outdoor interests, brings some vibrant energy to the table, and is okay with taking things slow.

​Where do guys in my position actually meet women like this organically? What do women in their late 20s/early 30s honestly think of men in their early 40s in this situation? Any advice or perspective is appreciated!