I can't stop thinking about it

I (F19) was assaulted by an other student a few months ago and i can't deal with the shame. He was not really a friend, but he was nice and we sometimes studied together. A few months ago i invited him to study at my place since the room we usually used was closed and i was not too far, and he accepted and when we got here he immediately bent me over the desk and i just froze. He fingered me and i was wet and i tried really hard not to show it but i came and he saw it. He mocked me and then i came again as he f me. He said so much stuff that got into my mind, i feel so stupid and i'm disgusted with myself. i can't stop thinking about it and i often get wet and toucv myself but it's even worse and i feel disgusted each time. yesterday he sat next to me in lecture and i just froze again and he just put his hand on my thigh and caressed me, and it lasted a few minutes only but i was so aroused i feel sick with myself