AITA as a non-contributing partner?

I (38f) met partner (50m) when I was 23. I was overweight and depressed at the time, he said he saw potential in me and felt I could be my best self with a bit of support, so chose me to settle down with. He supported me with paying for 2 degrees, we had 2 kids. I had lots of anxieties and insecurities as I was a trauma kid, and he, as a person with Mental health expertise gave me a lot of tough love through talk therapy and psycho therapy which helped.

Issues have come to a head for the last 6 months- he says I am a liability, I've never brought anything meaningful to the relationship and don't add value to his life. For the last 4 years, I've worked either full time or 4 days a week, I manage the entire household, kids, cooking, cleaning etc responsibilities, do his invoicing for his business, look after our two rentals and also pay for all daily bills, expenses and 40% of the mortgage.

He has never complimented me on anything, frequently comments on things I'm not keeping up with and when I say he could help out because I'm exhausted and overwhelmed; he says I'm disorganized and chaotic, these are just life responsibilities that anyone can handle and he would much rather I bug***ed off, as he can do them better. He also says I'm a bad mother as our 7 year old is displaying ADHD type behaviours, and he says it's because of my relationship with the child.

I am meant to apply to be admitted as a lawyer, and I admit I'm a bit afraid as I have a significant welfare debt due to not correctly estimating his income ( I don't know how much he earns nor where the money goes). He says my not auctioning this makes me a significant liability as there is so much potential but he can't use any of it.

He has also encouraged me to study a postgrad so I could start a particular migration business- honestly I'm not keeping up with the course and have failed two trimesters. I am exhausted as I am completely unsupported. I'm too afraid to tell him because it might push him over the edge and exacerbate the whole useless, liability narrative.

I have no family help. My family has cut me off as I prefer to keep my distance from my mom's self absorption and BPD behaviours and my sister's hyper controlling anxiety.

I feel like he has contributed a great deal to my life and to help me be a better person. I feel guilty that I haven't done the same for him. He is driven by financial success, so I have taken over financially supporting us, so that he can work and save his money for whatever he wants to do with it. I have been the children's sole and primary care since they were born so he was free to work, and nothing was required of him whatsoever.

He does not recognize any of this and says well what would you have done if you were a single mother? What meaningful thing have you done to make my life better? He says that he would have been much further ahead in life if not for deciding to be with me.

I am torn. In one sense I feel like a TA who has ruined his life, but on the other hand I feel like he is an incredibly selfish person who shows no gratitude whatsoever. AITA here?