fun speedball coke and xanax. and also talking about life

got home early from work at like 3pm and took 1.5mgs of xanax just to chill, watch some drag race or whatever. around 5 i started getting sleepy and i had some coke so i decided to do a tiny line and it woke me up just a bit, but it wasn't lasting long. kept increasing doses around every 20-30 minutes, now its 7pm and i just hit a reallyyyy fun place. all the coke feelings but i can just sit down and chill. got some good ass music blasting in my earbuds gonna do another bump. celebrating kinda nothing. hope you guys are having a good night!

if i'm being honest im at a bit of a weird state in life right now. (yes im starting to tweaker type). i go to school in NYC now and just finished my first semester (im a junior, did 2 years community college). i had the absolute time of my life. so much fun in the techno scene, even completely sober. everything was so central and awesome. now i'm back home in orange county, california for the summer and it's just such a whiplash. i'm working full time at a terribly slow retail job where they watch every move you make, im basically paid to stand there for 8 hours and it's so mind numbing. i go back at the end of august, but im just putting my head down and dealing.

part of me feels bad for complaining, it's a super easy job, just so boring especially after such a crazy 5 months. i keep looking back on old photos and reminiscing. trying to feel the feeling i felt every time i exited the subway into the middle of manhattan. i really love that city man.

i only have 2 more months before i go back, but it really does feel so far away, especially with how long my days are. need to pick up some new hobbies while im out here. anyways again, hope you're all having a good night cuz these drugs got me feeling good.