Beginner questions

Tonight I did my first full moon ritual as a person exploring Wicca. (Previously just witchcraft the first 10 years).

I really feel drawn to this path. When I'm outside, I feel connected to nature and I feel something. It's peaceful and comforting, and I genuinely feel like there's something there. But it also feels...distant?

I think what I'm struggling with is the God and Goddess. I understand that a lot of Wiccans see deities like Hecate, Brigid, Diana, etc. as different faces or aspects of one Goddess, but that's kind of where I get stuck. It's almost like she's "faceless" to me. I don't really know who I'm talking to or trying to build a relationship with, and that makes it hard to connect on a personal level.

Then during my ritual I got so caught up in trying to do everything "right." I was flipping through Scott Cunningham trying to remember what came next, worrying if I called the quarters correctly, if I forgot something, if I should be saying certain words... it ended up feeling clunky instead of natural.

I know that'll probably get better with practice, but I'm curious...

Did anyone else feel this way when they first started? How did you go from the God and Goddess feeling kind of abstract or faceless to feeling like you actually knew them? Or did you not?

And how did you stop stressing about doing rituals "correctly" and just... experience them?

I'd really love to hear other people's experiences because I genuinely want to grow in this path. Blessed be. 🩷