I wrote earlier that I felt like I was a passive passenger in my marriage. How I felt like I didn’t really have a choice even thought a few of you tried to tell me waking up every day staying married is a choice.

It’s still passive though.

Initially brought up my concerns to my husband. He didn’t say much except for stuff that felt like it was written for a hallmark card.

He seemed more concerned that I decided to snap at 11pm on Sunday. We hadn’t really spoke for a week at this point.

I said when’s a good time? During the day? When the kids are home? I would have thought that if I tell you I think I’m a passive passenger in our marriage that would concern you. And it didn’t.

He blamed it on being late. I said it’s odd the other week when we had sex it was 4am. His response to that (pretty personal) made me feel like I have to file for divorce. 

He kept saying I want romantic shit all the time. I just want someone to notice me when I’m feeling down. I also think I found his Reddit account and that solidified that while he might be going through the motions of being married to me this man legit doesn’t care for me or even like me. 

I have exploratory discussions with lawyers this week and next.

I always knew marriage just wasn’t for me.

I said my marriage felt passive. We finally talked.