I think I’m the problem

Tbh when I like a guy a lot I start to act strange and become avoidant of him. Like my best friend from 2020-2022, so in love with him and I didn’t know how to take it in and accept that. I’m not the lover girl type so I just ignored it. We don’t talk at all anymore. I’m not a confident person at all. I struggle with being open about my feelings, I tend to bottle them up and just “suck it up”. Like he was so loving towards me sometimes and I would just kinda be strange about it because I thought “no he doesn’t want a girl like me”. I just don’t think I’m someone who can be desired by other people. I’m not very likable and I never feel confident in myself.