Marriage & Missions

For context I (22F) and boyfriend (20M) have been dating for about 7 months now.

Bf feels called to a life of missions (living overseas in a foreign country) while I do not. I’m having a hard time discerning if I feel hesitant because it’s not God plan for me or if the enemy is scaring me into not following through. Scared in the sense of stability is gone in missions- money, car, etc.

Within dating with the intention of marriage, we have already fallen short into sexual sin. We agreed this makes the dynamic feel tainted.

I pray and I hear no confirmation. I love him and want to be with him, but I want Gods will more. Thoughts?