My birthday is tomorrow. I'll be 40. Today's Oliver's 33rd. He lived my life 10xs over.

I quit smoking 5 years ago today too. But compared to Oliver.... He really loved his life. And he lived it like a boss. Puts me to shame. Now I'm disabled and can't do anything like he did. It's too late for me. Feel like just a witness to his greatness.

But that just makes me sadder for him. He was just beginning to find himself. Your 30s are your peak. We could see he just got freedom from his label. He was happier than ever! He was totally starting to own his space.

He didn't deserve to go this young.

I like his humor the most.

I'm just trying to take it all in.