My (30M) fiancé put it in when I (24F) said no

So I’ve been with my partner for about four years. It was rocky and on and off at first, but we worked things out as couples do. We were intimate when things first started, but as things got rocky i stopped it because I just wasn’t feeling it, and wanted us to be on a better path first as intimacy is very meaningful to me… anyways, we got engaged at the end of November of last year. We weren’t intimate since like a year before the engagement. I told him that with getting married and stuff and I was trying to follow my pastors advice and my own personal faith on top of that, that I’d rather be celibate until we get married. He’d always joke and say that wouldn’t work for him, but would ultimately respect my wishes and would say that he’s trying to get on the right track religiously as well…until tonight. We were playing around in his room (I bought a house, he moved in, but we sleep in separate rooms.) We usually kind of roughhouse so I didn’t think anything of it, and he’d pick me up and put me on his bed a couple of times or turn me over, think like fake WWE.. At first it was fun until I felt him go to the waistline of my pants. (I was wearing long pants FNAF themed and a t shirt if that matters.) I’d say “hey stop, don’t do that.” He’d say okay but still pull at them a couple of times. I was physically holding the pants from behind to stop him. I told him “don’t pull my pants down because then you’re going to take it further.” He’d say okay said he wouldn’t take it any further, and that he just wanted to put them down and that’s it. I asked if he promised, he said he promised. I reluctantly agreed and then he tried to move my undies out of the way, by this time his pants were already down (i didn’t know that). I would tell him no and he said he promised that he wouldn’t put anything in, not a finger or touching or anything. I said okay and for a moment he was just touching my butt until I felt something go in. My hand immediately found his thigh to push him back and I tried to sit up, but he’d stop me, move my hand, and just say “relax.” And that lasted for like 3 minutes until he heard that I was crying, then he stopped and begged me to talk to him. Defensively i keep trying to put on a tough face and say that im fine and dont want to talk about it… im now laying in my own bed, and i just dont know how to feel exactly. I feel like i maybe should’ve done more, used a more stern voice instead of freezing up, or being honest instead of immediately saying nothing and then im fine—but i honestly just dont know how to cope. I feel like i dont know what to do. So much has been planned and bought for the wedding, which is only two months away. I feel like i don’t deserve to wear a white dress, and idk what to do, or how to feel about it. I have family that I’m close with, but i know they would completely blow things out of proportion and I don’t want that. Can i please get advice?

TLDR: my fiance didn’t respect my wish of celibacy, saying that he’d assumed I’d like it and not stop him as things went along. Is this something that can be amended?