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Wow! What the fuck! The man of my dreams broke my heart so bad I literally went to the doctor and got told I have a broken heart! I gave up everything for him. He became my whole world and betrayed me! Cheating, and I forgave him! I tried harder to be the perfect partner. Called me stupid so I tried to be smarter. Told me I was a slut, so, I tried to be better and quit interacting with men as much as possible. He said my words were meaningless so I tried to give him my body. He said I wasted his time so I tried to be attentive and at his call 24/7. I told him things I've never told anyone!! He stabbed me in the back! He got violent...he got mean....he wasn't who I thought he was and I wasn't enough! I feel like my entire life has been turned upside down in an instant. I left and it's been so hard. I cry everyday. Everything I do reminds me of him. I miss the good but the bad memories come flooding in and I'm left in shock, disbelief and heartbreak.  How could he? Now--NOW WHEN ITS TOO LATE--he sings my praises as tells me how much I mean to him and how he can't live without me. How he will never let me go. I am hia forever...if that is so true then why did he hurt me? And more than once? And it just kept getting worse...I always hand my heart out only to have it absolutely decimated. I feel like I'll never emotionally recover. I've never felt more broken and not myself. I am but a shell. I became a ghost for that man.

 It sucks. He was my best friend and now I can't tell my best friend how I lost my best friend. What the fuck! My heart!! 

Dinner is a homemade Mai Tai, a joint and cigarettes 

It got violent. I left and my heart is broken (tw)