Done playing the narc's game

Husband has a narc parent, with whom he is VLC. Narc is a slob. Husband wants to attribute it to cognitive decline, have them put in a home and be done with them.

We wound up having to go there today, at which time Narc announced that I was supposed to call the cleaning place for them. I'd had a few drinks before we went, which contributed to my immediate response of, "Hell no." Husband is/was pissed that I "came down on" a "feeble old person." But I'm done. I'm not going to spend my summer vacation catering to someone who can, but refuses to, care for themselves. I'm not going to let them co trol my marriage by demanding my husband's attention because they've alienated everyone. My husband has spent the last 3 weeks fighting COVID. So I told his narc everything we've been through this month. It hasn't been easy and my point in the rant was to point out that we have OUR life to deal with. Not their stupid "I won't respond to your texts for 2 weeks and then make you come and clean my maggot-infested sty" BS.

I'm done. I laid it out for hubs tonight. He gets PoA and we get his narc in a home or I'm out. His narc wants to control his life. Fine. But they won't control mine.