(Mid-renovation kitchen, forgive the dust and lack of counter lol) 

I ended my first long term relationship (3 years) about 6 months ago. I’m so happy and have been so happy ever since. It needed to happen. Ultimately it was a compatibility and effort mismatch. Nothing really remarkable or interesting leading to the breakup. Nothing major remarkable or interesting afterwards. We don’t speak. He saw me in public once and actually ran away lol 

Like I said, I’m so happy. I have no interest in dating at this time. My social life is fulfilling, I enjoy my hobbies, my house is just how I want it, I sleep so well, I have no anxiety or sadness permeating my days. But I’m also just… so certain that I’ll never find someone who checks all my boxes and I’ll be alone forever. It’s not really something I’m actively thinking about, it’s not even something I actually believe if I think too much about it. is just another phase of processing the end of a relationship? Like seeing happy people in healthy relationships and not being sad or mad but just thinking “that’ll never be me, oh well”? What dramatic play is my brain running? 

Anyways. Smoked sausage and egg. On my beautiful new stove :) 

first long term relationship ended, mild despair?