Bottom dysphoria and sex

Lesbian kissless virgin. I have horrible bottom dysphoria. I can hardly look at it, much less use it. Anal is also off the table, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that. I’m not asexual, but I can’t use my genitals. The only kind of sex I think I could tolerate would be basically service top stuff with my fingers and mouth, and even that doesn’t sound all that appealing. I know deep down i am a bottom. All it is is something I’d do to appease someone I cared about deeply. An act of service than can never be reciprocated. And that sounds… like I’d end up bitter and resentful. I’m so lonely. I want a relationship but like… is it even possible? SRS is so far off in the future. I’m broke and insuranceless. What is my move here?