Detransitioned years ago and regretting it?

I went on T and had top surgery a few years ago but detransitioned because of internalized transphobia and societal transphobia. I was able to pass at times but I hated having to stick up for myself, and I hated how it felt like others were humouring me by using he/him pronouns if they knew I wasn’t actually biologically male. I dated a terf for a few years and thought I could keep my dysphoria out of sight after I dealt with my body dysphoria’s main issues, and live as a woman. We had a falling out because she was a terf, but I think how long I knew her made it so my identity is fucked up now. I used to be confident as a trans guy, and I’m confident now but it doesn’t feel the same. I keep having dreams where my current partner uses masculine terms for me and it’s been messing with me because I used to not struggle much with social dysphoria. I really love it when someone assumes I’m male, and that’s never gone away, and I think it’s because it’s someone who isn’t humouring me.

The issue is that while I know my partner currently would be supportive, I started dating them as a woman and have already met their family, who knows me as a woman. I don’t want to have to come out again, and feel like the people who care about me are only humouring me.
What makes this harder for me is that while my family was supportive, they have told me since I detransitioned that they’re glad that I’m not emotional about pronouns anymore, but even if I’m not emotional about it, I think I want it again regardless. But that feeling like I’ll be being humoured is even more intense now, and I feel like if I’m only going to be humoured than what’s the point? I could live off of the times people assume I’m a man and try to stay happy with that, but the more it happens, the more I realize how much I enjoy it and feel like myself again, and I feel like indulging in my dysphoria is only going to make it harder to avoid feeling it, but I also wonder how much of that is internalized transphobia. I keep feeling like the only people who can comfortably live as trans aren’t the ones that struggle with employment and housing too, like I have been. But regardless of anything I miss being a man and don’t know how or where to go about becoming comfortable with myself again or coming out all over again. I don’t know if it’s the right choice for me too, but whenever I see other trans people living their lives I remember it could be possible for me, and pride month is reminding me of that even more. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know any other trans men and haven’t for years online or off, and I know I could be nonbinary but that’s not the point I want to make either, because even as nonbinary I wouldn’t know how to come out, people technically in my life know me as genderfluid but even after transitioning I’m still having people default to she/her if they know I’m afab. Idk what to do, I’m a grown adult but I feel like my sense of self is so fucked up and lost, and whenever I find it I get scared. I told my partner I disliked feminine terms and I was happy when they acknowledged I was technically a trans guy, but those moments just make me wonder if I am able to come out, if it’s worth it, or if it will inevitably be what fucks my life up at the cost of me being 10% more happier about something I could possibly just brace through now.