Pride's Month (Fluffco)

Pride had an excellent June.

It all started one fine June 1st, when Pride had finally decided to leave after a drinking and Euphoria binge, taking out the trash, including at least 90 bottles of vodka, to the dumpster.

Suddenly, she noticed something in the corner of her eye.

A rainbow lottery ticket. Thrown away for some strange, inexplicable reason.

It was completely unused, and still good, so Pride tried it.

And, then, she had woken up with a massive headache, on a bed she didn't recognize, and immediately realized she had won, and then spent all her money from, the lottery.

She opened the door, as she realized she was in a giant mansion.

Pride: What the fu...

Intern: Miss, do you need me for anything, you were telling me to "grill me a cheese" for hours yesterday, are you finally sob-

Pride: THAT INTERN FROM FLUFFCO?

Intern: Shit, you are. Okay, so, I was not hired by you, but I did arrive here to get paid.

Pride: What day is it?

Intern: June 29th?

Pride: JUNE 29TH?

Intern: You were high off mana crystals for the entire month, I guess you didn't realize an entire month had passed. Also, the girls just had their breakfast and left.

Pride: WHAT GIRLS?

Intern: The entire company of strippers you bought. Who have just left.

Pride: God, I must have gotten some serious pu-

Intern: I'm going to stop you right there, the first and only thing you did with those girls was cry in their arms.

Pride:...were they naked at leas-

Intern: They were fully clothed and extremely confused.

Pride:...

Intern: You have problems.

Pride: I'M TRYING!

Intern: NOT HARD ENOUGH!

Pride:...Okay, so what else happened?

Intern: You commissioned an artist to paint your ass, and hung it up in Fluffco's main offices, you bought a backstage pass to Oni's wrestling match and tried to pick up his opponent, and then you boxed his promoter.

Pride: ...damn, I should win the lottery more oft-

Intern: You are also getting sued for fraud. Somehow. Despite going broke.

Pride: IT WAS AFTER I WENT BROKE?

Intern: Yup. Do you remember anything else?

Pride: ...I think I have a problem.

Intern: Yes, you do. Also, the dudes are still there.

Pride: I hired male strippers?

Intern: No, those are the assassins the mafia hired to kill you after you snorted their entire mana crystal supply.

Pride: fuuuuuuuuu-

Limbo breathes in as Pride finishes explaining herself over the phone.

Limbo: やれやれだぜ .

Pride: I KNOW, I FUCKED UP, PLEASE, COME QUICKLY!

Limbo: I'll do it, jeez...

Limbo had a horrible June, by the way.

He had found a four leaf clover, so he decided to try getting a lottery ticket. Accidentally, however, the ticket had flown away as he was getting groceries.

Straight into an apartment building's alleyway.

All on June 1st.