over cooked bbq chicken tenders.

started dating a girl a few years ago in Miami. she had a rough upbringing and i loved her and let her convince me to move out to Colorado. i’ve always worked shitty jobs and hustled on the streets to make money. came out here and picked up a trade cause i wanted to be a man and be able to take care of her forever. job started beating up on me, physical labor things, and it made me tired and lethargic at home and on the weekends. she got tired of it and left. don’t blame her. on her way out she said i was the best boyfriend ever and xyz. 

it’s been a year and a half without her, stuck in a state i hate. only reason im grinding out this trade is cause it keeps me here near her (even if im 100% blocked and we don’t talk at all) and working in this trade is the first time my mom has ever said she’s proud of me.

the girl has moved on, has a new boyfriend and all. 

im stuck here and slowly feel myself fading away into nothing.

some days are hard, some days are easy, some days like today are really fucking hard. i’m out here grinding, coming home too tired to cook, and all i wish is for her to say good job right now, or give me a hug. i’ve cried a lot today, but horses don’t stop they keep going

she left a year ago, still losing my mind