Spent an afternoon at a friends house with her 2 kids

I’m a consistent fence sitter. I’ve been told I may be childfree but I also don’t lean in that camp 100%.

I spent the afternoon with a friend. Her husband watched the kids half the time then we hung out at her house ..

The kids are cute (3 and 9 months). They are kids. There were no major meltdowns. Her daughter bumped her head pretty hard playing but nothing major aside that..

I guess where I get overwhelmed is I can easily walk out the door and leave that. That’s life 24/7 and I know you get used to it and change everything you do around that. I totally get that part.

But that is what overwhelms me .. it’s not like I have anything else to be doing. I actually am stopping to get food right now as I type this. But I think the always on is what scares me and I’m not sure why..

She says it’s amazing and many friends have told me to just have that kid .. but I guess it’s hard for me to be looking at this in slow motion in a sense and think that could be my life vs when you are in it, you make it work

I don’t know what will ever get me off the fence .. we talked about kids and she told me just have them if I want them but that it’s hard