I want to be in a ayslum so I can hit myself without hurting my body

The closest to "Room full of pillows" its an asylum. I want to be there, but freely and all by myself; Because if, for example, I hit my head against the wall, there will be no harm to my body. That's the good thing. Well yeah, obviusly It would hurt a little. I mean, they are hard pillows, not marshmallows. But still, there will be less damage than hitting my head against a normal wall.

I just have the desire to hit myself everytime, in every moment. Its so strange but I just want to hit myself over and over again without any consequences.

Does anybody share this desire w me?