I miss the weather

I try to keep myself busy
But my thoughts keep circling back
Keeps taking me to the place I left you
My bags all packed
Wondering will I miss you
Eighteen years of condemnation
Only five relearning how to breathe
Still waiting on the realization
I can live in peace
It’s strange how you linger still
Your shadow’s stuck on me
Looking back I dont miss much
But I think I miss the weather,
The summer air, our long brown hair
The days before I knew
That safety isn’t rare
But I dont miss you
Maybe I do
I dont miss you
Yet I find myself missing
The mother you should have been
I dont miss you but I’m still your kid
So I think of the weather
Then tuck it away
For the next rainy day.