Soul ties or souls died?

My ex and I broke up right after the covid lockdown. Ever since then we play this blocking game where we block eachother for a random amount of time and then make plans to hang out and smoke, eat, cuddle.

Back then in 2017 we were just co workers who occasionally would smoke pot together the friendliness grew into something both of us in hindsight wasnt ready for. We fell hard for eachother I remember so many nights staying up sharing our pasts and what we want our futures to look like, it was beautiful.

We come from different cultures so exposing eachother to what we know was exciting and for me different. It wasnt until I asked him if he could see me being the mother of his kids and everything went downhill within a few weeks he broke up with me but we were two months into our apartment lease and the covid shutdown left us without many options so we stayed together. Living together that is.

Hands down the hardest time in my life not only due to the state of the world and our shared trauma with covid but living with the man of my dreams when he sees me as a temporary placeholder ate me to shreds.

Today we're still friends and i no longer feel heartache when thinking of him, i feel thankful that he was honest in a time where doing so felt unnatural. I'm sharing this story to show others that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that the sucky feeling is only temporary.

One day at a time is all that should be in your mind.