Retroactive Jealousy

May ka-talking stage ako ngayon, and I can say that it’s getting serious. We’ve known each other for about 2 months—turning 3 na—and I can also say that he’s been genuine and honest with me. Ang kaso nga lang, he has an ex. They lasted for 3 years, pero ang sabi niya sa akin is that they were kind of toxic because their relationship was kind of “on and off,” wherein nag-bbreak sila, then all of a sudden, sila na ulit.

What’s worse? She’s his first love dahil nalaman ko na marami siyang first experiences with her. And here I am hahah, I’m the girl that he’s currently dating. It’s been a while naman na since they broke up, I think last year pa. But then, thinking about it still hurts me a lot. It’s making me wonder kung naka-move on na ba talaga siya, o nasasabi niya lang ‘yun dahil nandito na ako. I can’t help but think kung sino sa amin ng ex niya yung mas mahal niya ngayon because after hearing his story about his past, it made me realize how much he loved and cherished her. I asked him directly naman kung naka-move on na talaga siya, and he said yes because it’s been a while na nga.

I somehow feel like I’m the problem knowing that I’m a very overthinking person. I don’t know how long it will take me to get over the fact that he had a girlfriend before me which lasted 3 years—habang ako, never pa nakakaranas ng long-term relationship.

And so, I’m really wondering if it’s really possible for a person to get over someone they truly once loved after having them in their life for a very long time? Kasi ako, hindi ko pa nararanasan yung long-term relationship as I’ve said earlier. 5-month situationship pa lang, hirap na akong mag-move on eh haha, paano pa kaya pag umabot ng ilang taon yung relationship hahah.