Partner told me to not buy myself something so he could gift it to me for my birthday - and then didn't actually get it

My partner told me not to buy myself a special edition set of books that I really wanted because my birthday is coming up, and then broke the news to me today that he didn't buy them in time and they've sold out. They will not be released again. I'm really gutted. My original set is in tatters from how much I read the books as a child and I had really wanted this beautiful limited edition set because the stories mean so much to me. He knew about the book set since March, and it took a while for them to sell out - they sold out around the end of June. He told me over and over not to get them for myself because my birthday was coming up. Then, after telling me that he didn't buy them in time (they were too expensive, he was saving and saving for the past 3 months, he didn't have money, etc) he does the thing he always does - hyper vigilantly monitors my reaction/expression for disappointment or sadness, so I can't even feel what I'm feeling without having to comfort him if he detects unhappiness.

He told me he got me cool things for my birthday, and I believe him. He's a good partner to me and I love him. This was just the only thing I asked for, and I could have had it if I'd just bought it for myself like I had intended to.

I feel spoiled whining about this, but I'm very sad and have nobody to talk to about these feelings. Thank you for reading :(