I hate my boyfriend’s 5 year old cousin

I’ve been with my boyfriend since August 2024, and we’re both 19. Ever since we met, I’ve noticed how attached he is to his little cousin. Everyone in his family calls her his goddaughter, but I’m almost certain she isn’t actually his goddaughter—she’s just his little cousin. He always says she’s “like his daughter.”

He told me he was the one who convinced his aunt not to abort her, so I think he feels responsible for her. She also doesn’t have a father because he never wanted to be involved.

To begin with, I don’t even like kids and whenever im with my boyfriend and his family, she’s constantly trying to get his attention. She yells his name, pulls on his arm, hugs him, and squeezes herself between us whenever she gets the chance.

Earlier this year we spent two weeks at the beach with his family. Whenever my boyfriend and I went upstairs to get a little time alone, she’d follow us, climb onto the bed, and sit right between us. It got to the point where even her mom and my boyfriend’s mom had to tell her to leave us alone.

During that trip, we were walking to a fair when she ran over to me, trying to hold my hand so she could walk with me and my boyfriend. I told her, “No, I’m with him. Go walk with your mom.” She ignored me, walked around me, and grabbed my boyfriend’s hand instead because she knew he wouldn’t say no.

That’s basically how it always is. I know she’s attached to him because she doesn’t have a dad, but it doesn’t help that he constantly takes her out, gives her money, and buys her gifts.

What frustrates me most is that whenever he comes up with fun plans—going to the hills, the snow, the mall, or out to eat—his first thought is always, “Let’s take her.” Meanwhile, when it’s just us, we usually stay home. We barely ever go on actual dates.

Then Father’s Day happened.

His grandma told me she’d made my boyfriend a Father’s Day gift from her. Everyone thought it was adorable because she doesn’t have a dad and kept talking about how much she loves her “uncle.”

For what felt like the entire visit, my boyfriend played with her hair, watched her play Roblox, talked to her, and barely acknowledged me. I’m not exaggerating.

I got upset and walked away. When I came back and sat beside him, she wanted to sit there too, so they brought her a chair. Again, he turned toward her and barely spoke to me.

I jokingly said, “You’re not even paying attention to me.”

He looked at me angrily, ignored me for the rest of the visit, and when we got in the car he started yelling and swearing, asking who I thought I was to tell him what he could or couldn’t do with his goddaughter. But that wasn’t what I meant—I was just trying to tell him he hadn’t paid any attention to me.

I also got pregnant with his baby in January and lost it in February. Seeing him act like a father to someone else’s child while making me feel like she comes before me really hurts.

At this point, I genuinely dislike this little girl. I don’t want to see her or interact with her, and I honestly don’t even want to spend time with my boyfriend’s family anymore because I always end up feeling pushed aside.

And before anyone says it—I know she’s just a kid. I know none of this is really her fault. But that doesn’t change how I feel, and I honestly don’t know how to stop feeling this way.