More cross post3

So more of this story. I’m going to give you examples of why I would react as a child. I wish my memory was not intact I really do but unfortunately I am stuck with it. I can describe how my memory works. Sometimes I myself wonder why I don’t let it go. I am one of the people that when I am thinking about the past or events instead of just thinking about it it is like a visual experience with full audio. My memories are filed in my brain like video tapes and when I start thinking about something it’s like a full cut of that moment just plays in my brain and it’s like I am there. Not just bad ones. Any of them. It’s a whole image with sound sometimes I remember the scent of things like my grandmothers closet smelled like perfume and mothballs. Their water in Brady lake tasted like the salt from their water softener and there was a slight slant walking in to their add on porch off the kitchen. So to the people that are reading this that have been there this is how detailed my memory works. The walls up stairs in their home were close enough together some of the boys would clime up them like spider man. Or grandmother was always busy and their house was always very clean. She was also the type you could not leave a glass around on the counter because if you walked away from it it would be washed and put away before you found your way back to it. They had very busy wall paper in their kitchen and cupboards that were big enough to hide in. In the bathroom the main one they had a clothes chute that was in the cupboard you just threw your clothes in the cupboard then when she was down stairs she had a hook thingy she would poke the ceiling with and the clothes would fall down to the floor or sometimes she had a basket sitting there to catch them. There was a shower in the basement that was just out in the open with a shower curtain that could be pulled around to shield your nakedness from onlookers. Also there was a set of steps that went out to an outside door or turned and you could be in the very primitive dirt floor garage that smelled like motor oil and Detroit steel. The steps were kind of sketchy themselves and had roughly stirred concrete that you could see little pebbles in. They also had a workshop across from their home that my grandpa did all kinds of things.
He had jars and cans filled with nails and nuts and bolts fasteners or car parts. He was mechanical and also enjoyed woodworking. Looking back now I’m kind of wondering how the hell the afforded all of that. You guys how the hell?? Anyway my grandma and grandpa had a garden and my grandma would can vegetables and tomato juice and all kinds of things. She had some help but did most of it herself she had a pressure cooker and she just did whatever canning mostly by herself she made all kinds of things. And she also took care of the grandkids a lot. I’m not sure how she did that either I can’t get out of bed hardly without needing a nap. She was forgetful and I can say that most of the things in her fridge was expired or kept in some odd ways. But they got groceries sometimes we went with them. She also crocheted and did needlepoint and sewing. Every once in awhile she could be caught napping on their very rough couch. My grandfather worked at gogglers then he was also a Baptist minister. I don’t remember him working too much just til maybe I was in second grade so around the time I was 7 but a lot of the time we were there on weekends. I do remember his lunchbox and the big Stanley mug that was in there. I remember there was a big cardboard barrel in the upstairs that had things in it from when my uncle was in Vietnam and sometimes we would get in it. It was in a bedroom closet that was upstairs and the closet was long and wide enough to have a set of drawers in the end width wise. On that dresser was a ceramic Christmas tree that had lights that could be lifted out and they has like stems on them. My grandfather was not as busy as my grandmother he liked tv looking back I feel he most likely worked during the days we were not there. However if we had things at school or anything they would show up if they were invited. They also were the kind that let us outside and wandering all the time. And we did. They lived up on a hill from Brady lake and we would also go down there. Playing with all the kids and just running wild. I mean it’s no wonder at that time kids were abducted because for real it was like take your pick. No one would realize til it was much too late. Anyway I digress. Walking down the hill there was a bar called the clubhouse I guess it’s still there. It was green and just kind of to me looked like a house that got a lot of visitors. My grandparents did not go there because they were kind of religious considering my grandfather was a minister. I mainly remember them getting baskets together for what my grandmother said was for the battered women’s shelter. They were always helping someone or had people over. I’m surprised I’m as reclusive as I am because the modeling was having people around all the time or having random people just show up or being carted around to relatives homes. Just as a normal daily thing. You guys I’m suspecting some kind of amphetamine played a part. It is the only explanation I can think of to match the amount of energy. I guess the fact they grew up on farms maybe who knows but at this point in my life I’m the same age they were at the time I remember. They seemed older but I’m looking at it with the same memory I had as a child. But my grandma had short grandma hair Melongeon hair the wiry nappy type of hair that refused to gray. My grandmothers side only had a touch of melungeon however my dads side was melungeon which mean my sister and I have two genetic parents one mostly melungeon and the other on her moms side. Anyway because her hair was wiry she kept if short she used to say when it needed done it looked like a bushel basket. Now my melungeon hair is kicking in I get that or if it’s slightly humid I get the bushel basket comment. I loved my grandparents and I know they were strict with us at times but the amount of time I spent there I never once was scared and I never was bullied by them so to me it was the lesser of two different worlds. But I am going to point out that my grandmother was very good to me even into adulthood and she I believe knew how awful I was treated because we did talk about it after I had my son. And she would say well I kinda figured he was rough to you she did bring up his drinking not that he was an alcoholic but that he did drink a lot. They moved from that house into an apartment by Kent state on summit rd or dr. Then we still went there too they had a balcony off the apartment we would go out on. That building to me was unbearably hot it had an incinerator and because I’m sure I’m neurodivergent I could hardly stand being in the lobby or in the hallways. Because it was too much. I was there and I would go there but it was like hell to me in there. Anyway this is just another piece and I’m going to keep pushing through these. I get really tired remembering all this stuff it doesn’t show up linear and I trying to have it organized in a more time based. I’m not sure how they are organized. I keep thinking I should mention the big red soda that they would get for me or rc cola. But that goes further up and it’s like I remember it. Anyway that is this part.