I like to make myself cum watching Jodie Foster getting gang raped on a pinball machine.

I also like the scene from Irréversible in the underpass, her on the ground, his cock in her ass as she screams.

I like and look for porn where I can see authentic pain, regret and shame in the women’s eyes.

I wonder why. Is it because I understand their discomfort? Can taste their embarrassment, feel their displeasure, smell their hurt? I know their dead eyed look. I’ve used it many times. My mind has switched off and escaped whilst my body endures the motions on top… always him on top… smothering, crushing. My petite body hidden underneath him.

Say the words he wants, make the sounds he likes, tell him lies…tell him sweet little lies. Be a good girl. Will it be over sooner if he thinks I like it? Did I like it? Such a complex question to answer. What is love anyway?