Ladies and gentlemen, It’s over, again. 

Around 5 years ago I met one of the most impactful people of my life. Good-looking, quirky and smart when needed. 

To keep the story short, we got together, then broke up, then together, then broke up again, mostly for reasons that led me to believe she wasn’t the one. 

And she wasn’t. 

Every time we broke up, after some months, one or the other ended up contacting the other one again. More often than not it was me. A couple of times it was her. 

This time we broke up because, essentially, of our dead bedroom. It wasn’t completely dead up until this last month. Before that we had sex but still, I wasn’t satisfied with how little it felt like she desired me. The entire relationship felt unbalanced. 

So anyways, this Tuesday we talked about this and some other structural problems our relationship had (in my eyes, at least), and I told her I needed some time and space to think about it. 

So this weekend I thought might have been nice to keep to myself and let my mind wander around and see what I feel, if I can keep pushing to fix things like we tried in the last months or to just give up again. 

Well, she ended up doing things for the both of us this time. 

I guess it’s good though. For once she was the one to break things up, meaning that my family and friends won’t say stuff like “oh again, well in a couple of months you’ll get back together”. 

It’s the first weekend without her. Feels weird. 

Not that much sadness. Maybe a bit of disappointment. I thought I could do it. I guess I can’t. 

Well anyways. French toast with berries this evening. I don’t have anything good to put on top of that (maple syrup or stuff), but it’s good enough. 

Just wanted to talk to someone about this. 

Thank you for listening and eventually commenting. 

We broke up. Once again.