I hate my younger sister

I don’t even wanna say I feel bad about my I’m 18f she’s 17f and my entire life I have been abused and hurt my my family sexually physically mentally and my mom used the fact that I didn’t have a dad to do so… my sister has had a good life and she’s such a fucking selfish brat and my entire life she has abused me and bullied me. When we were little to now she constantly forced herself to be the attention on things like my birthdays she would have to get presents on my birthday and would throw tantrums every time it was my birthday, and as we got older she would ruin my birthday parties her and my mom gang up on me all the time bc she’s the golden child… they took my best friend from my birthday party for two hours last year and left me there by myself and went to a bunch of stores without telling me or my friend where they were going and lied ab it. They went to get food and drinks with my friend and didn’t talk to her the entire time or even get her anything which proves to me they did it on purpose.

She bullied me for being emo/alt for years and now all the sudden she wants boys to give her attention so she’s a poser now too. She bullied me for my appereance would take pictures of me with her boyfriends or friends when I wasn’t paying attention and make fun of me to my face make fun of my style hair music taste everything … then all the sudden she wants all the interests I have.. and she’s done this my whole life they never care ab when I do anything but as soon as she copied me she gets all the classes/money. Etc to copy me she embarrasses me infront of boys all the time she’s fake to her friends and has zero friends, when I (TW SA) got groomed and raped by a man in his late 20s when I was 17 she said I wasn’t a victim that I deserve to be raped… she just has done so much to me and I literally wish she was dead I don’t care if it’s evil but she’s such a pick me and a bitch and literally does it to everybody she hangs out with her best friends ex boyfriend and hides it from her

And tells me if I were to report my SA from my uncle and my mom that she will hate me and invalidates me constantly bc she said it’s selfish and I’m trying to ruin their life. I’ve been through significantly more then her due to me being with my mom more and she told me to my face she hates that everyone pity’s me and feels bad for me and sm more I’m sorry this is long but I actually just wish she was never born like genuinely the worst thing that ever happened in my life was that day she was born

I have so many other little sisters that I love with all my heart it’s just her… and idc if it’s mean she’s uglier then me and jealous whenever boys like me and she only points out that she has bigger boobs then me and that I’m flat bc that’s the only good thing ab her