After Three Years She Told Me She Never Wanted to Live With Someone or Get Married

I (36f) had been dating another (33) woman for the last 3 years. I've posted in here before our the strange dynamic of our relationship and asking if she was avoidant. Well, long story short, after breaking up in May we met up for a drink a few weeks ago. I had told her that I felt like we were in limbo due to our regular texting and her still calling me every night. I asked her if she wanted to try to work it out or if we were over romantically. That's when she hit me with the bombshell of saying she doesn't think she ever wants to live with someone or get married.

I know that sharing your life is not for everyone. But in the time we were together, we had talked about living together and getting married. We talked about where my things would go when I moved into her house. We talked about the kind of wedding we would have - where it would be, how many people, the song we shared our first dance to, etc. I felt completely dumbstruck when she shared this with me. I simultaneously felt closure on our relationship, anger for being led on, sad for myself, and sad for her.

We've had a few more conversations and she keeps saying she's realized over the last few weeks that she doesn't want to share her life with anyone. She thinks it's too difficult and views relationships now as obligations. I feel stupid for letting myself get dragged along by her, thinking we were building up to a life together only to find out that's never what she wanted.