I’m afraid lonely

I’m Korean, and I’m 26 years old.
This is a bit of a heavy story.
Loneliness slowly eats you alive.
I’m studying English by myself using YouTube and Instagram content.
Honestly, I feel lonely every day.
I think one of the biggest reasons is that I’ve been hurt by people so many times that I find it difficult to open my heart. Whenever I build a relationship with someone, I often end up feeling stressed or disappointed.
The media shows us love, friendship, and happy families every day, but I don’t feel those emotions. Sometimes I feel like a robot.
I often don’t wash my hair, don’t clean my room, and sleep too much because everything feels boring. This has nothing to do with how much money I make.
When I was young, a fortune teller in Korea told me, “You need someone who will take care of you like your mother.”
I still wonder where I can find someone like that.
My daily routine is just home and work, over and over again. I solve every problem by myself, but even after all these years, I still can’t control or heal my mind.
My only real interest is traveling to other countries.
These days, everyone is always looking at their phones, and I’m no different. I also spend too much time mindlessly scrolling.
Whenever I walk around my house, my cat, Suili, follows me everywhere. He’s growing so fast.
After my parents got divorced when I was young, I was neglected. I think that’s when I started to lose my confidence.
In my early twenties, I believed money was everything. I thought it was the only thing that could protect me, so I worked obsessively to earn as much as I could.
The only men who approached me after knowing my situation had bad intentions. They didn’t want to comfort me. They only wanted my body.
Now I know that money isn’t everything.
Sometimes strangers ask me for directions, including grandparents and tourists. Those moments are very short, but they always leave a strong impression on me.
A stranger’s smile and simple “thank you” can stay with me for a long time.
Sometimes I cry at night, and I don’t even know why.
I can’t remember the last time I laughed out loud or had a meaningful conversation with someone.
What should I do with my life?
How many people around the world are silently fighting loneliness without anyone knowing?
After work, I once saw an elderly man sitting alone at a playground. I’m afraid that could become my future.
I’m not confident when talking to people.
When I walk around Gangnam Station, I see many foreigners. I’d like to start a small conversation with them, but I don’t have the courage.
Yes, I’m an introvert.
My strengths are that I’m willing to challenge myself, I’m patient, and I’m calm.
My weaknesses are that I lack confidence, I rarely smile, and I struggle with depression.
Relationships and true love can’t be bought with money.
Where can I find opportunities to build genuine relationships? It feels so difficult.
Life just repeats itself.
Is there anyone here who feels the same way I do?