I M/27 lost interest in marriage after family trauma and heartbreak with F/22. How can I understand this?

I M/27 have been thinking a lot about marriage lately, and I feel like I’ve slowly lost interest in it.

For context, my father M/58, who has already passed away, and my mother F/47 had a failed marriage. They never divorced, but their marriage was not healthy. Growing up, I often felt like I was parenting my own parents when I was still a child. I don’t think this is the only reason I feel this way about marriage, but I also can’t deny that it shaped how I see relationships, responsibility, and family.

I’ve talked to people around me about this. My brothers and brother-in-law, who are older than me and already married, have all suggested that I should get married too. I understand where they are coming from, and honestly, I was not always against the idea. A few months ago, I had accepted the idea of marriage and was even excited about it.

But now, the more I think about it, the more I genuinely feel like I don’t want to get married.

I used to think I didn’t need many friends, and that having one person as my partner would be enough. But now, when I’m alone, I feel like I don’t really need anyone in that way. I have childhood friends, but they have their own circles and lives. I don’t really have a proper friend group or group chat, and somehow I’m okay with that. I don’t crave friendship or social connection the way I used to.

I also feel like most of the things people say marriage gives you can exist outside marriage. Socializing can come from community, work, friends, or family. Physical needs can exist outside marriage too. Emotional support can come from therapy, which I’m already doing.

So I keep asking myself: what is the actual point of marriage for me?

My recent experiences with women have also made me feel tired. The woman I loved F/22 married someone else. Since then, I feel like something in me shut down. I don’t feel like I can fall in love again, and I don’t feel like I have the energy to deal with emotional drama anymore. It just doesn’t feel worth it.

At the same time, I have so many business plans and things I want to build. I feel like I can help people in many ways. I sometimes think I may be better at giving to the world through work, business, and social impact than through becoming a husband or father.

The idea of having children also scares me now. I can only control myself. I can’t control another person’s behavior, and I can’t control the world my child would grow up in. I might be a good father, but I don’t know if I would ever feel like I’m enough. The same goes for being a husband. Maybe I could be good, but I don’t know if I could be enough.

I know loneliness may come if I stay unmarried, but I feel like I can handle loneliness. I’ve already gone through some of the darkest parts of my life alone. What scares me more is being responsible for someone else’s heart and life, then watching things turn painful.

So I’m at a point where marriage feels meaningless for someone like me.

I’m not saying I hate marriage. I’m not saying I never wanted it. I’m saying I’ve lost the desire, and I don’t know if that desire can come back.

For people who have gone through something similar, how did you deal with this? Is this a phase, fear, trauma, emotional exhaustion, or just clarity? How can I understand whether I genuinely don’t want marriage, or whether I’m just protecting myself from getting hurt again?