im into tarot and my family would freak out if they found out

i grew up in a strict religion and was always warned about things like tarot/divination ... well im not a christian and havent been for a long time now.. even though i am not a christian i am also not an atheist i just dont resonate with any belief system so for me divination is a way to keep a pulse on myself from a spiritual angle and also have a sense of control in being able to know what's going on around me ... but i hate how secretive i am or feel i need to be about my spiritual practices ofc i could just come out with it but my relationships with certain people would never be the same. i envy people who live out loud with whatever they are into but i just cant do it. i tell myself that's a private thing anyways and it's not like i want to put it on display for everyone to know but i also just do not like the feelings or shame and secrecy around it .. sometimes i wish i was never brought up in religion to begin with